Closing Due To Racism

Internet,

Sorry, but I've recently been informed that I'm going to have to shut down this live blog of the 2009 NFL draft for the Jerkeytown Slashers because I've been making very racist remarks about Jerkeytown's black players.

Sorry, Jerkeytown! My apologies to the black players.

My sincerest apogolies,
Jim "Jerkey" John Jacob "Slasher" Jim

AND JERKEYTOWN CHOOSES>....

After a long couple of weeks of drafting the NFL's new hit stars, the Jerkeytown Slashers have chosen Mickey Tomatopaste as their tight end.

AND THAT's THE END OF YOUR DRAFT, AMERICA'S ONLY F-BALL PLAYERS!

New draft pick!

For their second pick, the Jerkeytown Slashers pick: The Russian Internet!

The Russian Internet has been earning some fans over the last few years for its Russian characters and the ubiquitous 2 cent downloads of American rock and roll songs. The Russian Internet will be playing linebacker.

Holy Fuck!

Did you just see the crying baby when they showed the Andre Smith/Alabama celebration? That fucking baby looked like it wanted to die. I feel so bad for the baby. I feel so bad. The baby was sad. It made me cry. I can't stop crying. My tears are bloody. I am weeping the blood from my eyes and brain. I gots the brain eyes. I gots the eyes blood. Tear weeps. Blood tears. I gots the weeping blood. I gots the ouchie eyeball tears. The blood weeping. The crying blood tears ouchies. The brain blood ouchies. The brain tears.

Jerkeytown CHOOSES!

I hope you're all just as happy as I am with the first pick of the Jerkeytown Slashers in this 2009 NFL draft.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have been chosen for the position of Center on the Jerkeytown Slashers 2009 team. Go JERKEYTOWN! 

St. Louis Rams

select... JASON SMITH! for tackler. He's going to be maybe the strongest NFL tackler that we've seen so far in this 2009 NFL draft. I used to be worried about Jason Smith, because he used to be in my Geometry class. CPCTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited about the first Jerkeytown pick coming up.

Thanks for BLAG TARFFIC, vernon

Live Blogging Today

Today, Taste 6 Maker will be live blogging the 2009 NFL draft for the Jerkeytown Slashers.

Jerkeytown rose to prominence in early 2008 after the hyperbolically gory Jerkeytown Massacre, where the local football team, the Jerkeytown Slashers, committed horrible acts of violence for about three hours straight.

Go Jerkeytown!

First pick in the draft is for the Detroit Lions, and they choose Matthew Stafford! Congrats, Jerkeytown!